Exhausting

This is another post with my feelings, no particualr subject. I have thought about writing future posts that go over certain doubts and research that I was able to find on them. But for now I just want to get some thoughts in writing. A man in my ward, someone I am just getting to know but who I have huge respect and admiration for, sent me an email with an article attached that talked about how God does great things with imperfect people. That I can wrap my head around, but it is way too mentally exhausting for me to try to justify and rationalize the ungodly actions, teachings, and secrets of Joseph Smith and the other leaders, when my heart tells me it's not true. If we have to sift through the teachings of the prophets and wonder what's of God and what is of man, than all this church has are "the philosophies of men, mingled with scripture." Just like any other church.